Could It Be?
by The Hermione Granger Fan Club
Summary: This is a short romance fic about what Hermione might say if R/Hr shippers confronted her with their evidence. I poke fun at Lavender and Parvati, and Hermione ALMOST wins at chess.
1. Default Chapter

  
  
Could it be...?  
  
It was a typical Friday evening in the Gryffindor fifth-year girls'   
dormitory. Eloise Midgen was in the Hospital wing and Jade Dobbs (Emma Dobbs'  
older sister) was kindly helping her little sister with her homework.   
Hermione, unfortunately, was trapped in the dorm with Lavender Brown  
and Parvati Patil.   
  
Parvati and Lavender were conducting their evening ritual, which was   
basically doing their nails and gossipping. About boys, essentially,   
with Lav and Parv it was the only way to go.   
  
"You know, I think Dean Thomas likes you, " giggled Lavender.   
  
"Yeah! But he's got such a dumb haircut," squealed Parvati.   
  
They shrieked with laughter and Hermione wondered for the umpteenth  
time why her roomates had to be so... GIRLY. It was so damn   
boring listening to them twittering on. Besides, they both had   
Transfiguration homework three weeks overdue. It was so irritating.   
  
Lavender saw Hermione roll her eyes. She cast a meaningful glance   
at Parvati. The thing that peeved them off about Hermione was that   
she didn't have the slightest bit of admiration for either of them.   
But they both suddenly had the same idea...   
  
"Hermione, you know who I think has a crush on YOU?" Lavender said  
mysteriously.   
  
Hermione raised her eyebrows, but her curiousity got the better of her.  
"Who?" she said, carefully looking at her book and speaking in a   
couldn't-care-less sort of voice.   
  
"Er-" said Parvati, looking at Lavender.   
  
"Um-" said Lavender, looking at Parvati.   
  
The thing was, they hadn't actually expected Hermione to come right   
out and ask. Girls were s'posed to be coy and mysterious. So they said   
the first name that came into their heads-   
  
"Ron Weasley," they said together.   
  
If they'd expected Hermione to be impressed by this, they were sadly  
mistaken. Hermione let out a whoop of laughter and promptly went into  
hysterics.   
  
"RON?" she managed to choke out.   
  
"Yes, Ron," said Lavender waspishly.   
  
"You know, Ron. Tall, red hair, blue eyes?" said Parvati.   
  
Hermione was crying with mirth, but she managed to splutter, "D'you-   
d'you mean to say that you think RON, RON WEASLEY, one of the boys I've  
been friends with since first year, has a crush on ME? W-What evidence  
do you have of that?"   
  
They launched straight in. "Well, he was looking at you in Herbology,   
wasn't he?" said Lavender.   
  
"He was my partner, Lavender. Of course he was looking at me!"   
Hermione was amazed that anyone could be so dense.   
  
"But Ron's always so much nicer to you than to any of the other girls,"  
said Parvati.   
  
This explanation brought on a fresh wave of laughter. "RON? NICE?   
We ARE talking about the same Ron, aren't we?"   
  
"But you're always together-" Lavender began, but Hermione interrupted   
her.   
  
"I'm always with lots of boys besides Ron. Harry, Neville, the Weasley twins,   
Dean, Seamus- how come you've never acted this way about any of them?"   
  
Neither Lavender nor Parvati could think of an argument. They began   
sulkily painting their nails. But they were far from deterred. Ron and  
Hermione were perfect for each other.   
  
Hermione picked up a letter her mum had sent her, still smirking.   
  
'Dear Hermione' it read, 'How is school? Dad and I are missing you...'  
There followed a 'funny'story about a screaming toddler who'd refused,   
point-blank, to have a tooth pulled. It ended, 'Give my best to   
Crookshanks, and to those funny little boy friends of yours, Mum.'  
  
Mrs Granger always refered to Ron and Harry as Hermione's 'boy friends'.  
Hermione sometimes got a bit miffed about this, but suddenly remembered  
her disscussion with Lav and Parv.   
  
What the heck, she thought as she began her letter back. You only live  
once.   
  
'Dear Mum,' she wrote. 'My boy friend, Ron, is fine. Harry has the flu,  
he's in the hospital wing...' Hermione suddenly felt very tired. With a   
yawn, she put the letter on her dresser. Perhaps she would finish it   
tommorrow...   
  
Lavender and Parvati warched shrewdly as Hermione retreated under her   
covers and dozed off. As soon as they were sure she was asleep, they  
hopped off Lavender's bed and snatched up the letter from Hermione  
to her mother.   
  
Delightedly, they pointed at the first line. That proved it, they   
thought. If Hermione refered to Ron as her 'boy friend' at home, then  
they had to be destined for each other.   
  
"They should be going steady," hissed Lavender, as they put the letter  
back and slid into their own beds.   
  
"Definetely," whispered Parvati. She giggled. "It's so romantic. Could  
it be...?"   
  
"What?" breathed Lavender.   
  
"Love?" said Parvati.   
  
***  
  
Well, that wasn't too bad, was it? If you hated it, and you're an   
R/H shipper, as I am, don't be mean about it. Romance is just not   
my thing. I'm a comedy writer. If I get good reviews, I might continue  
the story. If. Check ya!   



	2. Could it be...? Chapter Two: Making Assu...

  
  
Could it be...? Chapter Two: Making Assumptions   
  
On Sunday evening, Lavender and Parvati sat in a far corner,   
whispering. It wasn't like them not to be in the thick of things,   
Hermione thought. Hermione, however, had other things on her mind...  
  
"I can't believe I'm FINALLY beating you at chess!" she purred.   
  
Ron was looking sullen. "I can't believe you're finally beating ME   
at chess," he groaned.   
  
Harry was still in the Hospital Wing. Long ago, Ron and Hermione had  
decided that every time they were alone together, they'd take turns   
picking something to do. Hermione always picked studying. Ron usually   
dithered between chess and Gobstones, because he was good at both.   
Tonight however, Hermione had taken almost all of Ron's pieces and was   
acting very cocky about it.   
  
Although Ron and Hermione didn't know it, they were being closely   
watched. Lavender and Parvati were discussing their latest 'project',   
which was plainly, to fix up Hermione and Ron. It wasn't unusual for  
them to take sudden interest in other people's romances. Only last   
fortnight they'd told Ernie Macmillan that Hannah Abbot, his best   
friend, had wanted to be his girlfriend since second year. Ernie had  
confronted Hannah, who'd denied she'd said any such thing. They still   
weren't speaking to each other.   
  
"Look at that body language!" whispered Lavender rapturously. "See   
how she's sorta leaning towards him? That's what I call chemistry."   
  
"Yeah," hissed Parvati. "Now, how ARE we going to get them together?   
Any ideas, Lavvie?"   
  
Because of their tiny IQs, it took them a teensy bit longer to   
ponder things than intelligent, NON-ditsy people. But after ten   
minutes, Lavender snapped her fingers. "Got it!" she squealed.   
  
Parvati suddenly grinned. She'd gotten the exact same idea. "I know,"  
she giggled.   
  
"I know too." Lavender looked suddenly blank. "Er- what is it again?"   
  
"It's very simple, Lavvie dear. We just find out what Ron thinks   
Hermione's best feature is, and vice versa. Then we figure out how to   
en... en..."   
  
"Enhance," offered Lavender.   
  
"Yeah, that- enhance it so the other notices it."   
  
"It's brilliant! Foolproof!"   
  
"Isn't it though?"   
  
Back at their chairs in front of the fire, Ron and Hermione's chess   
game had taken a sudden twist.   
  
"Check," said Ron, beaming.   
  
Hermione was suddenly alert. "What d'you mean, check?"   
  
"Well, my pawn got your king."   
  
"But I was winning!"   
  
"And now I have. Ron Weasley is still the champ," crowed Ron.   
  
They watched as the white pawn dragged the black king to the side   
of the board, labouring under the much larger piece. The king became  
aggressive and with a swipe of his black arm, swept the pawn off the   
board and out of sight.   
  
"Damn!" said Ron. "My pawn!" He dropped to the floor and began looking   
everywhere for his pawn.   
  
Hermione grinned rather wickedly. "Want some help?"   
  
"If you like," grunted Ron, shoving the table aside.   
  
"I have some Arithmanthy homework that needs finishing," Hermione said  
apologetically.   
  
"Fine," said Ron, still searching for the pawn. "See you tommorrow."   
  
Hermione bid him farewell and left. This was the chance Parvati and   
Lavender had been waiting for. As soon as Hermione was out of sight,   
they swanned across the room to Ron.   
  
"Hi, Ron," they said together.   
  
"Hey," said Ron, looking up at them.   
  
Lavender and Parvati looked at each other and giggled.   
  
"Ron," said Lavender. "We wanted to ask you something. You know-" here   
she looked at Parvati. They giggled again and Parvati continued.   
  
"You know Hermione," smiled Parvati. "Well, we were just wondering-   
what d'you think Hermione's best feature is?"   
  
"Her best feature?" said Ron blankly. "I guess that she's strong. She   
doesn't let people push her around." He kept seeking the lost pawn.   
  
Lavender rolled her eyes at Parvati. "No, silly. You misunderstood.   
We mean her best feature- as in looks."   
  
Ron raised his eyebrows. "Well... look, are you girls going to harp on  
about this?"   
  
"No," they said together. For once they didn't giggle.   
  
"Well- I guess it's her eyes."   
  
"Her eyes?" Ron wondered how they could keep speaking in perfect time   
like that.   
  
"Yeah," and he smiled in spite of himself. "Hermione has really pretty   
eyes. Especially when she's happy."   
  
Lavender and Parvati beamed down at him. "Thanks, Ron."   
  
They only started talking once they were out of earshot of Ron. "Well,   
that went well." commented Parvati.   
  
"Mmm-hmm. Hey Parvie," said Lavender, shuddering suddenly. "What if   
he'd said it was her HAIR, or something?"   
  
"Oh, come on, Lav. Even Ron's not that stupid!" They howled with   
laughter all the way to their dormitory door.   
  
Parvati frowned. "So how are we going to make Hermione's eyes look   
nice?"   
  
Lavender smiled broadly. "Oh, Parv." She delved into her pocket and   
extracted some eyeshadow, which she held up for Parvati to see. "Was  
there ever anything makeup couldn't fix?"   
  
***   
  
How did you like that? Extremely OOC, wasn't it? Well, like I said in   
my last chapter, romance just ain't my thing. Please review, and if   
you're dissatisfied, please be nice about it. Check ya! 


	3. Could it be...? Chapter Three: A New Wee...

  
  
Could it be...? Chapter Three: A New Week   
  
The next morning in the dormitory, Lavender and Parvati watched  
Hermione like a pair of ditsy hawks. She was cramming four extra books   
into her bag and muttering, "I don't believe it... this bag is s'posed   
to take fifteen books and two quills... what a rip-off!"   
  
Parvati nodded meaningfully at Lavender, who said sweetly to Hermione,  
"Want some eyeshadow, Hermione?"   
  
"I- waiiiit," said Hermione, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. "Why?"   
  
Parvati's voice was so sweet Hermione practically gagged. "'Cause you'd   
look pretty."   
  
Hermione waved her hand dissmissively. "No, thanks. If I wore as much   
makeup as you two do, my friends would never let me forget it."  
  
"Exactly!" said Lavender triumphantly. "On account of how you'd look   
so nice."   
  
Hermione tried to imagine one of her friends telling her she looked   
nice. She immediately reprimanded herself. Yuk, Hermione!, she thought.  
That's sick!   
  
"No," she said firmly, swinging her bag over her shoulder and turning to  
leave. Then she whipped around. She spoke sweetly, imitating their   
voices. "This wouldn't have anything to do with your little campaign   
for Ron and I, would it?"   
  
Hermione saw them shoot lightening glances at each other. "We dunno   
what you're talking about!" giggled Parvati- but it was a nervous   
giggle.   
  
"Listen, you two. The day that Ron has any sort of feelings beyond   
a very good friendship for me will be the day that the Weasley twins   
shut down Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Ron likes pretty girls, in case   
you haven't noticed!"   
  
"You could be pretty," said Lavender, "with a little help."   
  
Hermione snorted. Geez, you're dense, she thought. "What makes you   
two think I want to be pretty?"   
  
Geez, you're dense, thought Parvati and Lavender together. "SO RON'LL   
LIKE YOU!" they both yelled.   
  
Hermione snickered. "You two are nuts," she smirked. "See you later."   
She turned to go.   
  
"Hermione- wait a sec!" said Lavender desperately.   
  
She turned back. "Yes?" she asked tiredly.   
  
"Er- we've got a question for you."   
  
"Is this going to be about Ron?"   
  
"Yes," chimed in Parvati. "What d'you think Ron's best feature is?"   
  
"His sense of humour," answered Hermione. "Ron can be really funny."   
  
Lavender and Parvati sighed. "No-o, we mean his best feature- as in   
looks."   
  
Hermione contemplated this. "If I tell you, can this be the end of the   
disscussion?"   
  
"YES!" they shrieked together.   
  
"Uhhhh... well. I'm thinking... his smile. Ron has a great smile."   
Blushing slightly, Hermione blundered out.   
  
"Well, Miss Bright Idea," Parvati said to Lavender. "That was a total  
disaster."   
  
"Yeah," agreed Lavender. "A fia... fia..."   
  
"Fiasco, I think."   
  
"Right."   
  
Down in the common room, Hermione met up with Ron. Harry still had the   
flu, and they were planning to see him in the Hospital Wing before   
classes. "What's with you?" asked Ron.   
  
"What do you mean?" she countered.   
  
"You're blushing- something embarrassing happen in the girl's dorm?"   
  
"D'you want to know?" sighed Hermione.   
  
"Is it girl stuff?"   
  
"Mmm-hmm. Still want to know?" she said as they climbed through the   
portrait hole.   
  
"Nah, thanks. Girl stuff sickens me at the best of times."   
  
"Good," said Hermione, grinning. "Because I wasn't going to tell you."   
  
Meanwhile, our two ditzes had decided to skip breakfast to try out new   
hairstyles in the girl's toilets. They'd come up with another brilliant  
matchmaking scheme. It went thus; Parvati would write a note to Ron,   
pretending to be Hermione. Lavender would write one to Hermione,   
signing it from Ron. Both letters would say, '... meet me in the   
common room when everyone has left, I have something very important   
to tell you...'.   
  
"And they'll confess their feelings for each other!" squealed Parvati.   
  
"It's so romantic!" breathed Lavender.   
  
"Isn't it, though?"   
  
But of course, we all know how their matchmaking schemes go, don't we?  
  
***   
  
Don't miss Chapter Four. It'll be funny, I promise you. Check ya!   



	4. Could it be...? Chapter Four: Since When...

  
  
Could it be...? Chapter Four: Since When do You...   
  
  
Hermione glanced furtively over the top of her book. There were only   
herself and Ron in the common room. Now she could see him about the   
'important thing' he just HAD to tell her.   
  
Across the room, Ron put down the letter to the Chudley Cannons that   
he'd been writing. They were alone. Good. Now he could find out what   
was so important.   
  
But Ron and Hermione were not alone. For Parvati and Lavender were   
hidden behind some armchairs in a corner. They'd just had to be there   
to see their scheme work out. They were both grinning rapturously.   
  
Ron got up. He walked over to Hermione and, holding up a hand to   
silence her, said, "I'd just like to ask you something, Hermione. Since  
when do you do your i's with hearts?"   
  
Behind the armchairs, Lavender threw Parvati an awful look.   
  
Hermione frowned at Ron. "Since never," she retorted. "And I'd like to   
ask you something, Ron. Since when do you spell my name   
H-E-R-M-O-I-I-N-E?"   
  
Behind the armchairs, Parvati looked pointedly at Lavender, who   
shrugged apologetically.   
  
"I know how to spell your name," Ron answered. "Maybe- hang on a second,  
what IS it you asked me down here for?"   
  
"You asked me!"   
  
"No I didn't."   
  
"Yes you did. I've got the letter in my bag, I'll get it, hang on-"   
Hermione started rummaging around in her bag. Parvati and Lavender   
looked horrifiedly at each other. They did not want to find out how   
this ended. The sneaked up the stairway into the girl's dormitories   
without cracking the smallest lip-twitch, let alone giggling.   
  
Ron looked over the letter skeptically. "I didn't write this," he said,  
handing it back to Hermione.   
  
Hermione's eyebrows shot up at the speed of light. "Who did then, I'd like  
to know?"   
  
"Don't ask me," Ron shot back. "YOU'RE s'posed to be the smart one. You   
figure it out, then."   
  
Her eyes travelled up and down the parchement. "Hmmm..." she said.   
She knew that she'd seen this handwriting somewhere before. Hermione   
put two and two together-   
  
"Lavender wrote this," she said, looking him in the eyes and trying   
not to laugh, because she had a hunch why Lavender had written this   
letter. "C'mon," she said, gesturing for him to follow as she headed   
towards the staircase to the girl's dorms. Ron hovered uncertainly at   
the foot of the stairs. "What?" she said to him.   
  
"You girls are always so protective of the girl's dormitories. Are you   
sure I can come up there?"   
  
Hermione sighed. "No," she answered. "But come anyway. I have a feeling   
this is going to be good." Ron didn't need any more persuading.   
  
Ron followed Hermione to a dorm with a sign saying, 'Fifth Year Girls'.   
She marched through the door and ripped the covers off two beds. No   
question about their inhabitants.   
  
Parvati and Lavender looked up, aghast, at Hermione and Ron. Before   
Hermione could open her mouth, Parvati blurted, "He's a boy!", meaning,  
he's not allowed up here. Hermione was sorely tempted to roll her eyes  
and say, "No duh," but she knew it would be wasted on their pea-sized   
intellects.   
  
"Yeah!" said Lavender pathetically.   
  
Hermione ignored her and said, "We can deal with formalities later.   
Now, why did you two send us those letters?"   
  
Parvati said, "How d'you know it was us?" at the same second that   
Lavender said, "What letters?" Not exactly the sharpest needles in the   
haystack, those two. Eloise Midgen flinched in her sleep and everyone   
froze for a second.   
  
"Go on," hissed Hermione, trying to make her voice quiet and malicious   
at the same time. "Spit it out!"   
  
"Um-"   
  
"Ah-"   
  
"We'll tell," said Lavender accusingly. "If HE leaves." Parvati nodded   
furiously.   
  
Ron shrugged and stepped outside.   
  
Lavender looked pleadingly at Parvati, who began to tell in a small   
voice. She confessed to their reading her letter to her mum, to   
interrogating Ron and to writing the notes. It took a little while  
to wheedle ALL the details out of her, but Hermione managed it.   
  
"Fine," said Hermione crisply. "I'll deal with YOU two tommorrow. I   
have to, erm, see Ron." Both the ditzes retreated under their   
bedclothes to sob into their pillows. They had never been so   
humiliated in their lives.   
  
Hermione stepped outside to where Ron stood, waiting. "Well?" he asked.  
"Why'd they send us those dumb notes?"   
  
It suddenly dawned on Hermione how very embarrassing this was going to   
be. She blushed and didn't look Ron in the face. "They were, ah, um,   
trying to- to fix us up."   
  
"WHAT?" Ron started to laugh. "Why would they want to do that?"   
  
"Beats me." Hermione had already decided not to tell Ron certain parts-  
like how she'd referred to him as her 'boy friend' in her letter home   
and that the dear old DitsyChicks had asked her what she thought Ron's   
best feature was... and she'd TOLD them.   
  
Ron grinned at her. "Well, I like US being just the way WE are.   
Don't you agree, Hermione?" He made to give her a sort of punch on the   
arm, but she dodged him and answered, "Yes. Yes I do."   
  
"Well, see you then," he called, walking down the stairs.   
  
"Bye."   
  
The matchmaking scheme had failed, in Lavender and Parvati's opinions.   
But as each was in their dorm...   
  
"Him and me. Right," smiled Hermione, getting into bed.   
  
"Me and her. Sure," smirked Ron, pulling the bedclothes up a bit.   
  
But as they thought of each other that night, in reflection of the   
evening's happenings, there was something in their eyes that had rarely   
been seen there before, and certainly not when they thought of each   
other. Could it be... love?   
  
***   
  
Well, that's it. The end. Really! That was a putrid ending, I'll say.   
If you agree with me and want to tell me in reviews, please be kind. I   
have a very fragile ego. Oh, yeah, and I always refer to Parvati and   
Lavender as the DitsyChicks. If you do too, don't sue me. I just   
thought of it one day and used 'cause I thought it was funny. I use it  
to describe most really girly people- my older sister and her friends,   
the 'cool group' at school, etc... Look out for more fics by moi.   
Check ya!  
  
  
  



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